


the perils of puking pastilles

by Thealmostrhetoricalquestion



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Attempt at Humor, Crushes, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-14 13:29:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11784138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thealmostrhetoricalquestion/pseuds/Thealmostrhetoricalquestion
Summary: Kit gestures angrily with a mini-muffin, and then devours it whole, barely managing to get the wrapper off before he crams it down his throat. The elf watches, wide-eyed, and then backs away, just as Kit almost chokes to death on a raisin. Araisin.“These were chocolate chip a moment ago,” Kit says, betrayed. “He transfigured my chocolate chips in the name ofhealth.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I recently read the damn book again and got caught up in the angst, so I needed some fluff. So this is basically all this is! Enjoy :)

Ty narrows his eyes across the table, staring at Kit’s plate. “Are you feeling sick again? You haven’t touched your food.”

Kit starts guiltily, dropping his fork with a sharp clatter and regretting it when Ty winces. He’s always hated noises like that, harsh, grating noises. He says they drive right through him, like spikes. He’s not wearing his magically-altered headphones tonight, the one that Julian made for him, which explains why they’re eating in the kitchens and not the Great Hall. It’s quieter in here, with the dinner rush mostly over. The elves are still lingering, pushing platters of dessert and goblets of drinks onto the table at their elbows whenever they turn away. 

“I’m fine,” Kit lies, turning his head away. Ty isn’t looking at him anyway, very rarely looks him in the eye. Kit doesn’t mind. It’s not a personal thing, it’s just that T doesn’t like looking anyone in the eye. He explained it, once, as not being able to see the point in it. Sometimes people described eyes as the windows to the soul, but Ty always says he can’t see anything but colour. 

“Are you still feeling unwell? You didn’t stay in the hospital wing for very long.” 

“They said I was fine, gave me a potion to settle the sickness.” Another lie. 

Kit is a lying liar who lies, and he hates it. He’s a liar and a deceiver, a fabricator, a man of schemes and false words, and he can never, ever tell Ty that he took a puking pastille this morning to get out of a mock exam that he felt underprepared for, rather than actually being sick.

He can never tell him. It will remain a secret that he takes to his grave, because Ty is the one who took him to the hospital wing when he vomited spectacularly in the middle of the corridor, and Ty is the one who dropped off books and a pile of homework while he sat in bed, hurriedly swallowing the second part of the pastille before anyone could spot it in his hand. Ty is the one being unbearably sweet to him now that he’s supposedly sick. 

Granted, it’s still Ty, so it’s a slightly awkward sort of sweetness, but it’s still sweet, and kind, and more than Kit can handle. It’s making him feel incredibly guilty, and yet he doesn’t want it to stop, which is making him feel even more guilty. It shouldn’t be a big deal, considering it’s only a small lie, a fib, but it’s also Ty that he’s lying to. Kit has never liked lying to Ty. He tries not to think too hard about why that might be. 

“You should be drinking water,” Ty says sagely. 

“Pumpkin juice is good for your blood sugar,” Kit says defensively, curling a hand protectively around his goblet. 

“There’s nothing wrong with your blood sugar.”

“You don’t know that,” Kit says mulishly. He pushes a few peas around his plate and gives up, the guilt eating away at him. He’s still not going to tell Ty, not when Ty’s eyes are skating over him with such concern. 

“What about the muffins, then? Are those good for your blood sugar?” 

Kit glances at the plate of mini-muffins sitting to his left and shrugs. It’s possible that he has sugar cravings, even when he’s recently been sick, and it’s possible that the elves are enablers. 

Ty sighs, pops a pea in his mouth. He chews thoughtfully. “I wonder what made you sick. You looked fine for most of the morning.” 

“No,” Kit says immediately. “No. Nope. I know that look. That’s the look that says you’re going to start investigating, and that never leads anywhere good.”

“Name one time.” 

“Blast-Ended Skrewts.” 

Ty’s grin is wide and genuine. He must be the only person on earth who loves Blast-Ended Skrewts. 

“Besides, I’m sure it was just nerves,” Kit says. “For the exam, you know. Stop worrying about it.” 

“Okay,” Ty says. He glances down at his watch and nods decisively. “Livvy wants to practice for the try-outs, and I said I’d watch and point out where she needs improvement. Are you coming or are you going to work on that Potions essay?”

He doesn’t say it with any kind of pointedness, but it’s a good excuse to get away before the guilt eats him up, so Kit takes it. Ty swipes up the last of his peas and then leaves with a small wave, withdrawing his headphones from his pockets as he leaves. They’re sort of like earplugs, but enchanted to play music when Ty wants them to. He just has to pop them in and the music starts as soon as he thinks of it. 

Kit watches him go, and then sinks down into his chair with a groan. An elf pushes the plate of mini-muffins towards him in a show of solidarity. 

“I mean, it’s not like I knew he was going to start being nice to me,” Kit complains. The elf stops to flap an ear in his direction, obviously conscious of the fact that there’s a young wizard in here moping that needs listening to. “If I had, I probably wouldn’t have done it. I mean, okay, I would have done it, but only because I realised this morning that I’d been revising all of the wrong material, and so I would have failed the exam for sure, and now I have a whole extra three days to revise the right stuff, but still. The point stands. I didn’t mean to lie to him. Merlin, why did he have to be standing right there when I threw up?”

Kit gestures angrily with a mini-muffin, and then devours it whole, barely managing to get the wrapper off before he crams it down his throat. The elf watches, wide-eyed, and then backs away, just as Kit almost chokes to death on a raisin. _A raisin._

“These were chocolate chip a moment ago,” Kit says, betrayed. “He transfigured my chocolate chips in the name of health.”

Despite himself, Kit is kind of impressed, and he has a vision of Ty walking down the corridor with that little quirk to his mouth, perfectly satisfied with himself.

*

Kit never pays much attention in Care of Magical Creatures class. He’s too busy watching Ty. It’s Ty’s favourite class, which means he listens intently to everything Hagrid says with a serious look on his face, and it means he gets to sketch out diagrams with a fierce kind of intensity, and he handles the creatures so carefully. Kit likes to watch, although he’s careful not to make T too uncomfortable by outright staring. 

“You know, it kind of makes you even more of a creeper when you do that,” Livvy says thoughtfully, gesturing to where Kit is slyly watching Ty out of the corner of his eye. “I’ve never seen anyone less subtle when it comes to a crush.”

Kit almost drops the bowtruckle he’s holding in favour of gaping at Livvy, who gives him a smug grin. She flips her hair over her shoulder and jots down a few points on their diagram, sketching the head of the bowtruckle with practiced ease. She doesn’t usually have the patience for drawing, but she’s still good at it. 

Ty is working with a Gryffindor girl that Kit doesn’t recognise, cradling the bowtruckle in his long, slender fingers and having what appears to be a conversation with it. The bowtruckle seems quite comfortable perched where it is, clinging to Ty’s finger. 

“You’re staring again,” Livvy announces, in a sing-song voice. She smiles triumphantly when Kit whirls around, placing the bowtruckle on the table so that he doesn’t accidentally crush it. “You really do like him.” 

“Of course I like him,” Kit says. “He’s my friend. You both are.” 

“Yeah, but you don’t want to kiss me, do you?” 

“I did that one time,” Kit reminds her, thinking back to their first year, when they had both met for the first time. Kit was a muggleborn, completely new to this strange, impossible world, and also completely sure that he didn’t want to be part of it. Livvy and Ty had taken him under their wing, and a few months later, by the lake, she had asked him to be her first kiss. It hadn’t happened again, but that didn’t mean it didn’t mean something. 

“A moment that I’ll treasure forever,” Livvy teases, but Kit knows she’s at least partly serious. “Anyway, you’re missing the point. It’s Ty that you want to kiss.” 

Kit lets himself think about it for approximately five seconds before a fierce blush rises up his cheeks and he pushes the thought away. He’s not going to think about it unless Ty wants him to, and the odds of that are pretty slim. 

“Don’t do that,” Livvy tells him, her eyes serious. “You can’t know what he’s thinking, or what he wants.”

“But apparently you know what I’m thinking,” Kit says, arching an eyebrow.

Livvy grins at him cheekily. “Of course. I’m magic, didn’t you know? Now, the question is, what are we going to do about your little crush? Or giant, noticeable-from-the-moon crush, as it were.”

Kit groans, lets his head thunk down against the table, narrowly missing the bowtruckle, who chitters irritably. 

He’s already got one twin involved in all of this. Merlin, help him, if there are suddenly two involved. He'll never make it out alive.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Technically, Kit isn’t supposed to be able to get into the Ravenclaw tower. The rules, however, did not account for Livia Blackthorn. 
> 
> “It’s completely fine,” Livvy says, ushering him through the portrait door while the eagle in the painting looks on disapprovingly. 
> 
> “Has anyone ever actually believed you when you’ve told them that?” Kit asks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of Livvy and Kit friendship goodness in this one, and snark, lots of snark. Thank you so much for the response to the last chapter, I hope you like this one just as much. Shenanigans abound! Thank you :)

“You stole a bowtruckle.”

A tiny, leafy head pokes out of the top of the pocket of Ty’s school robes. It has a curious little face and long, spindly twigs for fingers, which are poking at the surrounding fabric with childlike wonder. 

“I didn’t steal it,” Ty corrects him. “It wanted to come with me.” 

“I didn’t know you spoke bowtruckle,” Kit says, a little dumbly. They’re hidden in an alcove at the end of the Charms corridor, during break, tucked closely together but not quite touching. Ty leans back against the wall, one hand tracing circles on the window beside them. The light filters in and catches on the arcs of Ty’s sharp cheekbones, shading them icy blue. Kit thinks he’s never seen anything more beautiful. 

The bowtruckle clambers out of the pocket and reaches for Ty’s tie, crawling down until he can jump forward nimbly and land on Kit’s knee. Kit almost jerks in surprise, but any wrong movement could send the tiny creature sailing through the air, and Kit really doesn’t want to hurt the damn thing, not to mention Ty would probably kill him. He keeps incredibly still and watches the bowtruckle walk up his thigh. 

Ty watches the bowtruckle fondly. “You don’t need to be able to speak their language to understand them. It’s just a matter of knowing what they need, what they want. This one needed to get away from the other bowtruckles, and it wanted to leave with me, so I let it.” 

“Aren’t they supposed to be near a life tree or something? I remember the teacher mentioning something about a tree.” 

“Not really,” Ty says. “They can survive just fine away from it as long as they have warmth and companionship.” He looks at Kit seriously, his eyes flitting all over Kit’s face, never quite resting on his eyes. “I didn’t steal it.” 

“I believe you,” Kit says, equally as seriously. “And I’d remind you that you aren’t allowed to have anything other than an owl, a cat, or a toad, but since you’ve already got one of each of those, plus a billywig that comes and goes, a doxie, and a snake that you keep on the edge of the forbidden forest, I get the feeling that you aren’t going to care about the rules.” 

Ty frowns. “I rescued the billwigs’ babies, so naturally she’s grateful. And the doxie is still recovering from the incident with the kneazle. Why, do you think it’s weird? Does it bother you?” 

“It’s not weird,” Kit reassures him. He lets the bowtruckle wrap itself around his finger and smiles. “Just don’t get an acromantula, and we’re good.” 

Ty, damn him, just looks thoughtful. 

*

Technically, Kit isn’t supposed to be able to get into the Ravenclaw tower. The rules, however, did not account for Livia Blackthorn. 

“It’s completely fine,” Livvy says, ushering him through the portrait door while the eagle in the painting looks on disapprovingly. 

“Has anyone ever actually believed you when you’ve told them that?” Kit asks, stumbling up the steps and digging his feet in when Livvy drags him towards the squishy armchairs in the corner. The Ravenclaw common room is a lot like the Gryffindor common room, only with a lot less red and gold and a lot more books. There are books everywhere, now that he looks properly. Books on shelves, books not on shelves, books in little piles on the floor, and books on pretty much every available surface in the room. Livvy shifts a few aside so she can put her bag down on top of the table, and then shoves Kit down into one of the armchairs. 

“What am I doing in here?” Kit asks. 

Usually, the twins come to the Gryffindor tower, which is where most of their family was sorted into, besides Dru, who’s in Hufflepuff and usually joins them in the Gryffindor common room. 

“We’re planning,” Livvy says, with a dramatic flick of her wrist. “Conspiring. Scheming, one could say.” 

“No,” Kit says. 

Livvy ignores him. “You have a crush. A large crush, one that isn’t going to go away just because you’re hell-bent on ignoring it.” She leans forward and jabs him with her finger, and Kit flinches away, rubbing his chest in a wounded fashion. “And since that crush happens to be on my twin brother, and since I happen to be the only person on earth who knows him as well as he knows himself, I’ve decided to help you.”

“ _No_.”

“Thus, the planning. Conspiring. Scheming.”

“We could do all of those things,” Kit agrees warily. “Or we could sneak into the Forbidden Forest and fight some giant monsters with nothing but our bare hands. Personally, I find the last one more appealing.” 

“Excellent,” Livvy says cheerfully. “We’ll put it on the list, right after we finish scheming.”

Kit collapses against the chair with a sigh. Some nearby Ravenclaw snickers at his plight. Kit glares at him, but the kid just gives him a superior look and goes back to his homework. 

“You know I’m only doing this for your own good,” Livvy says. “Ty is my brother, and my best friend, and I want him to be happy. I think you could make each other happy.”

Kit goes a ruddy colour and looks at the ground. Thing is, he thinks he could make Ty happy too. He knows him well, he knows what he likes and dislikes and how to help him when he’s had a bad day, and what makes him upset and how to fix it, and he knows what Ty wants to be when he grows up, what he hopes to do when he gets out of Hogwarts, the things he wants to accomplish and become. They get along, they’re close, good friends, and he thinks they could be _more_ than friends, but he’s not sure Ty would want that. 

The thing about Ty is that he’s blunt, sometimes brutally so, but he keeps his true emotions quite close to his chest. Kit can’t tell what Ty wants from him, other than friendship, or if it _is_ just friendship that he wants. He thinks he’d be content with just this, for the rest of his life, but there’s no denying that he wants more. 

“You’re my friend too,” Livvy adds, when Kit doesn’t say anything. “I want you both to be happy. And I’d like it if you stopped moping around and mooning after him instead of just doing something about it, but I imagine the love-struck looks would only get worse if you were actually together. Still, I think I could suffer in the name of love.” 

“Stop saying that so loudly,” Kit hisses, glancing around. The Ravenclaw boy glances up in amusement, and then holds up both hands in surrender when Kit glowers at him. 

“Stop striking fear into the hearts of innocent men,” Livvy says lightly, and Kit rearranges his expression into something less homicidal. “Now, do you love Ty or not?” 

Kit splutters for a few moments before giving in and nodding. Livvy nods approvingly, like her dastardly schemes are all falling into place. 

“Good,” Livvy says, “because I have a plan.”

Kit knows he’s going to regret this. “What do you have in mind?”

*

Livvy’s plan is, in short, ridiculously stupid. 

“It’s genius,” Livvy hisses, from where they’ve stuffed themselves behind a suit of armour, hopefully out of sight from any wandering ghosts. It’s past midnight, and the corridors are dark, torchlight sending spidery shadows up along the cold stone walls. “We’ll sneak into the supply cupboard when Peeves moves on and grab the ingredients we need, and we can make it in the Room of Requirement during the day.”

“Your plan is illegal, you know that?” Kit whispers furiously. “Not only are we not supposed to be out after dark, but we’re also not allowed to brew Amortentia until the Trace breaks.”

“It’s not like we’re going to slip some in his drink,” Livvy says, rolling her eyes. “We just need to get him to smell it, so he can tell us what he’s attracted to. And if we’re lucky, it’ll smell like you.” 

“A radiant, masculine musk?”

“I was thinking more like treacle tart,” Livvy says, wrinkling her nose. “That’s what you always smell of. Anything sugary, really, and we’ll know he likes you back.” 

“Merlin, this is so stupid,” Kit mutters, and yelps loudly when Livvy elbows him in the gut. She puts a finger to her lips and points at Peeves, who’s moving down the corridor, bouncing off the walls and cackling loudly, his pointed little face twisted in glee. 

“Okay, you stand guard while I collect what we need,” Livvy orders him, slipping out from behind the suit of armour, which creaks at them forlornly. Kit follows her, cursing all of the Blackthorns in his head in increasingly creative ways. “Shouldn’t be too long. Alohamora.”

She aims her wand at the lock, which remains stubbornly silent and shut. Kit reaches around her and tugs on the handle, but it stays locked. 

“Did you do the spell right?” 

“It’s a first-year spell,” Livvy snaps. “Of course I did it right. Alohamora.”

“Well, I guess that’s that, then,” Kit says cheerfully. “We did our best, but our best wasn’t enough. I guess we’ll have to give up and go back to bed.” 

“Or you could tell me what you’re both doing out of bed in the first place.”

Livvy gasps, and they both spin around to find Mark Blackthorn staring at them in bemusement, wand tip held aloft and glowing softly. Livvy elbows Kit again, but he manages to dodge this time. 

“You were supposed to be on look-out,” Livvy says. Mark looks from one to the other and tips his head to the side, curious. 

“I’m sorry that I was distracted by your awful spell-casting,” Kit drawls. Livvy looks ready to murder him, but Mark interrupts before she can. 

“Why are you trying to break into the supply cupboard?”

“Kit likes Ty,” Livvy explains helpfully. 

Kit looks at her incredulously. “Is your secret plan to embarrass me in front of every single one of your family members? Because I have to say, it’s working a lot better than your first plan.”

Livvy ignores him, staring beseechingly at Mark, who looks even more confused.

“Naturally, Kit likes Ty,” Mark says. “They’ve been friends for years. I would be bemused if he suddenly did not like Ty.” 

“He’s in love with Ty,” Livvy corrects him, and then she launches into an explanation, outlining her plan to Mark, who frowns at the end of it. 

“Couldn’t you just ask him?” 

“No,” Kit says immediately, his ears burning. “I’m not—I don’t—”

“What he means is, he’s too afraid to ask,” Livvy says, rolling her eyes. “He doesn’t think Ty loves him back. I’m just trying to prove him wrong, so they can finally get together. If this plan doesn’t work out, I have more.” 

Mark sighs. “I’m not sure whether I understand the need for deception, but since this was an act of love, I’ll let you off with a detention tonight. You can serve it tomorrow, in the hospital wing, and then afterwards, I’ll help you. We’ll think of a better plan, since the supply cupboard is warded now. Even us Apprentices can’t get in.”

“I forgot that you were an Apprentice,” Kit says, surprised. “Wait, you want to help?”

Mark smiles, a flash of perfectly white teeth. “It’s either this, or challenging you to a duel for trying to court my brother. Which would you prefer?” 

“The help,” Kit says quickly. “Definitely the help.”

Livvy laughs brightly. This time, _Kit_ elbows _her_.

Merlin help him, now there are _three_ Blackthorns involved in this mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Please leave a comment/kudos, I'd love to hear from you, and come say hello @thealmostrhetoricalquestion on tumblr if you like :) Thank you so much!

**Author's Note:**

> How was that? I hope you liked it! Next chapter up soon :) Please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed it, I really appreciate it, and you can find me @thealmostrhetoricalquestion on tumblr if you like :) Thank you!


End file.
